The Hymn Of Christ

Over spring break I read Humility and Absolute Surrender by Andrew Murray. To give an account to the profound nature of both of these books I would create two more blogs for each of them, which, with the current demands of Mesa Community College, Terralever, Freelancing, Family and VI ministries, time is not permitting. I absolutely recommend that if given the opportunity, you should spend some quality time going through each of these works. Having said this, I do still want to focus on one of the practical ways in which God has been teaching me what it looks like for me to absolutely surrender myself to him and to serve Him in humility.

Now, I have come to realize over the past couple of months that I have a strong control and approval idol. An idol is anything I value or glorify more than God (Exodus 20:3-6), the possessions and values I build my life and heart around. Whatever it is, at the center of my life that draws all of my other identities together. Which, for me is approval, I have a huge desire to make others happy, and I absolutely long to make people laugh, often at the stake of my own character. Now this has become even strong lately, I have become almost desperate to make people enjoy my company. Essentially what I have done is I have said to God; “Father, the feelings I get from being pursued and being approved of from people within my community are greater than the love I receive from you. I’m going to let them determine the credibility and value of my life and worry about you later.” Some might interject and say, “How is this a bad thing? Didn’t your creator make you to love on people in your community, make people laugh and bring joy to their lives?” Absolutely, I know that God created me to love people within my community and make people laugh. That’s not what is at stake here. My fault is I have taken the value I receive from relationships and placed them higher than my Creator. Essentially I have taken what is certainly a good thing and turned it into an ultimate thing. The personality and gifts God has blessed me with to contribute to my community are a good thing but they become an ultimate thing when my acceptance and approval (as well as rejection and disapproval) are the things that control my heart.

Over the last two weeks this has been especially difficult, I have been trying to understand how I interpret rejection and understand how I feel valued. For example; if I don’t call someone to make plans with them all week, will they notice my absence and quickly rectify the situation by reaching out to me? Or is that relationship based solely on the effort that I put into it. Have I put in daily effort into building a relationship only to be met with “I don’t have time for you.” Having invested myself into a relationship that I thought too perfect to fail, whose eventual collapse and rejection have had affects have been far more heartfelt and overwhelming then I ever could have possibly imagined. The pain felt from such a loss is absolutely devastating. Why is this true?

I’m not serving others not doing it for the sake of doing it otherwise it wouldn’t hurt. It only hurts when you view yourself with pride. It’s understanding, why do I love people? Is it because I am looking for the reciprocated emotion in others, or because I want to develop love as a characteristic of myself that is unwavering and not based upon others response to me. The argument, “I’m not going to love you if you’re not going to love me” is not only childish but is contradictory to the faith we profess. Christ first loved us, therefor we love others. My love isn’t the reflection of other people, instead, it’s the reflection of my ever-loving heavenly Father.

Now, my desire for approval has become so strong that I place value for myself in people whom I should never be seeking to fulfill me in the first place. Hope comes from the gospel. My creator loved me so infinitely that he sacrificed his only son so that I might have an intimate and personal relationship with him for eternity unobscured by my wretchedly sinful nature by the blood of Christ. Hope in anything else is unfounded. Security and identity is shouldn’t be on hard work or self-justification, but on the gracious love that God has for me. When my eyes are open, and I realize I have faith in a God who has counted every hair on my head (Matthew 10), has knit me in my mothers womb (Psalm 139) and has counted every tear that has run down down my cheek (Psalm 56). My identity then doesn’t come from the world, but from my loving Father and heavenly creator. How can anything else matter?

“So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from rivalry or l conceit, but in m humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, buts made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. Therefore God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” - Apostle Paul’s letter to the church in Philippi

Last summer in preparation for the poland trip, our team memorized Philippians 2. Until reading humility, I never really understood the depth of this verse. Any understanding I have of the humility of Christ is incomplete, the humility shown by Jesus is simply incomprehensible. Although, it’s obvious that love I have shown is controlling, manipulative and approval based, while the love described in Philippians is sacrificial, humble and unconditional.

How do I invest time, energy, resources and emotion into people without placing part of my heart and value into that person. I think it comes from a better understanding of Philippians 2, I’m not serving to glorify myself, I’m serving to glorify God by holding others higher than myself. As soon as I start to expect something in return out of others then I am no longer loving them for merely for themselves. Do I love other because they reciprocate that feeling or because it’s a characteristic I long to see developing in myself because of the sacrifice that Christ made for m?. Murry writes that; Our lowliness isn't a posture we assume only in his presence, at church or in prayer, but it is the very spirit of life, it will manifest itself in all our bearing toward our brothers. I long to be valued by others and have my emotions nurtures and poured into. At the same time, for me to be counting the value I receive from them reveals how dependent my relationships are on the action or approval of others. This isn’t the kind of love that Christ is talking about at all. This could just be a level of pride manifesting itself through relationships and gripping my heart. The humility I show towards my brothers is even more important because it reveals my true nature (1 John 4:20). It’s clear that a life lived without love is surely meaningless (1 Corinthians 13). Not that I have been able to achieve any of the humility described in this post, merely that this has been a mirror to the wretched, selfish and prideful life I have lived. Only by the grace of God can I pursue humility.

Murry illustrates 2 Phillipians in his description of humility; The humble man looks upon every child of God-even the feeblest and unworthiest and honors him and prefers him in honor as the son of a king. True humility comes through the mindset that we are all murderers and whores, and it is only by the radically extravagant grade of God that we have been saved. Forgive as Christ forgave you. In this we make room for Christ to prove His power. This is the Hymn Of Christ.